This is a wholly modern recipe, so if you’re looking for period muffins, well you are probably right out of luck. But if quarantine cooking has landed you interested in a choose your own adventure style muffin recipe, c’mon along for the chattery ride. You’re going to want the commentary on the way the first time through, but I’ll try and condense it into a real-ish recipe at the end. Also, my apologies for being wholly and entirely Canadian about my measurements.

So! I make these muffins about once a week around here, and they are never the same twice. I work by weight when I bake, so grab that scale you got to diet with and have ignored ever since and make yourself more carbs.

Starting with the dry ingredients you’re looking for:

The flour can be a mix of all purpose and whole wheat but aim for at least half AP. The oats can be quick oats or large flake oats (steel cut oats are no go.) Sugar can be white or brown or a mix. Give that a good mix up.

Add in dried fruit until you’re happy. In this house that’s usually raisins, but it can be chopped dates, dried cranberries, currants, leftover fruit from fruitcake season, whatever’s handy and sounds tasty. Give that a quick mix in. Next up is a scoopy spatula full of jam. Whatever sounds tasty today. This is an excellent place to use that jam that didn’t set, or the one that someone gave you that isn’t really that good on toast. If you’re going to leave just scrapings in the jar after a good scoop, toss the rest in. No one likes someone who puts a jar of just scrapings back in the fridge, don’t be that person. (I’ve been using up a batch of failed marmalade in muffins for the entirety of the plague so far, and it’s been brilliant. It overcooked but didn’t burn, and that deep caramel and citrus flavours have been amazing. I am sad that today’s muffins are the last of it.) Consider how strongly flavoured your jam is and add spices to suit, or just because you love them. Cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, cardamom, anise, whatever makes you happy. You want cayenne muffins, you do you.

In a 2 cup measuring cup, measure 1/4 cup of oil. (Canola, veggie, olive.. whatever) Add in 1 cup of liquid. Milk, fake milk, water, herbal iced tea, liquor you were gifted that you think is disgusting (perhaps cut this one half and half.. I didn’t and those were.. interesting muffins.) Add and egg and give it a good mix up. Dump the liquid into the dry and give the whole thing a good mix up ’til there aren’t dry bits anymore. You are not mixing this until it weeps, just until everyone’s nicely sodden.

Grease your muffin tin, pour your goop in and pop it into a 400^o oven for 15 – 20 mins. Peek at 10 mins if you’re not sure how hot your oven runs. Every oven is different, and the recipes that are adamant that you will need /precisely/ 11 mins or the world will end are full of not accepting that every oven is different. Stab them with a bamboo skewer (or knife, or tooth pick, or whatever) and if they have no more goop inside, they’re done. Eat too many muffins, and enjoy!

Jammy Muffins