It’s been a while since I’ve posted, sorry about that. There’s been more doing than writing about doing at least! There’s also be a lot of big thoughts, and questions, and as always, not nearly enough answers to said questions.
I’ve been working on a secret project that I can’t share yet, but provided me opportunity to refine skills that I’ve only recently been building. Apparently even under a deadline, I’m still a perfectionist, and that’s slow. Frustrating, but part of life, I suppose. It’s a pride thing, and I suspect that I’d of been less of a perfectionist on something made for myself than for someone else.
I’ve had to face the reality that my ‘wanna do’ list and my energy levels have very little to do with each other. I struggle eternally with trying to pretend to myself and the world that my chronic health concerns don’t give me pause. There’s the warring desire to present a facade of ‘I got this!’ and the reality of having to admit that sometimes, the day/week didn’t go as planned, and not enough got done and that the evening of laying on the couch with a hot pack wasn’t just lazy.
Which is a longwinded way of saying that I’m heading into a baronial event weekend without finishing everything I’d hoped to, and trying to have a zen moment. Because at the end of the day, there will be people, and laughter and singing and sharing and it will be so much more than the embroidery I didn’t finish, or the regalia that didn’t get updated.